


fardeau d'un héritage

by LaCacciatrice



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, References to Depression, Romantic Friendship, kagami is a good friend fucking fight me, mention of child neglect, mostly friendship but feelings are definitely there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCacciatrice/pseuds/LaCacciatrice
Summary: “I don’t want your apology.” Kagami refused coldly. “I want you to tell me your problem so we can work it out and I can finally have my training sessions back.” She looked down at him as she leaned back against her hands. “It’s useless to duel when you are no better than a newbie who can’t tell the difference between a sabre and épée.”“I wasn’t that bad.” Adrien mumbled, fingers pressing against his tightly closed eyes as he yawned lazily.“I was being nice when I called you a newbie.”Or where Kagami tells it like she sees it and tries to help Adrien to face his issues.





	fardeau d'un héritage

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, yes, my favorite pastime activity... finding relatable characters and writing depressing fics with them (tho this isn't really depressing?? I guess??) am I writing Adrien's issues or am I writing mine? We'll never know...
> 
> Warning: English isn't my first language but it's pretty obvious, I think lol

Adrien lay down on the floor, breathing heavily as Kagami dropped next to him, looking unbothered like they were not training like crazy for the past hour. She took a big sip from her bottle of water as her eyes ran on Adrien’s miserably tired looking body. 

“You were distant again. Lost in thoughts.” She commented without an ounce of emotion in her voice. Like it didn’t bother her. Which was a lie. Kagami hated when Adrien was distracted during their training session which was almost every time lately since he was so busy with his father’s upcoming line, fighting akumas, patrolling until late at night, extracurricular activities and studies. Despite his high-level education from home-schooling by the best sources and teachers, Adrien was still scared to make one mistake that would cause his father to use as a manipulation tool by threatening him to remove from school. 

“I am sorry.” He mumbled between deep breath, eyes focused on the fluorescent lights on the ceiling, hypnotized like a moth by their brightness. He liked this, this short, quiet moments after forcing his body to its limits, feeling soreness and sweet ache of an intense training session. It was one of the reasons he loved being Chat Noir so much. He could push himself to his limits. He could tire himself to the point of passing out on his bed, not waking up until the next morning. It was like a cure to his insomnia.

Soreness of muscles was so much bearable than soreness of a lonely heart.

He no longer had to sit at an empty table, waiting for his father to show up. He was almost as busy as his father now, never giving himself a chance to feel lonely, sad or disappointed. He didn’t care if it wasn't healthy as Chloé claimed. What did Chloé know? She spent her days shopping, bullying employees, watching trashy tv shows and writing Ladybug fanfics to avoid her own demons. 

She knew as good as him that being happy wasn’t as easy as they made it to look in mass media.

“I don’t want your apology.” Kagami refused coldly. “I want you to tell me your problem so we can work it out and I can finally have my training sessions back.” She looked down at him as she leaned back against her hands. “It’s useless to duel when you are no better than a newbie who can’t tell the difference between a sabre and épée.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” Adrien mumbled, fingers pressing against his tightly closed eyes as he yawned lazily. 

“I was being nice when I called you a newbie.”

“Well, there are other people you can practice with.” He added without sounding bothered by her insults. He learned to not to take them seriously. Most of them came out of affection and it actually made him giddy. Was that weird?

“None of them are worthy.” She grinned arrogantly. Adrien knew she didn’t mean to insult their teammates. She had a good relationship with most of them. But when it comes to fencing and especially training, Kagami was obsessed with fighting the best of the bests. And in their academy, it was Adrien. He was the ‘worthy’ opponent for her. And they were good together. They challenged each other and improved their skills together. Of course, it didn’t work that well when Adrien was distracted. 

“I am always happy to be worthy of your time.” He said mockingly. 

“Nice try.” She grinned. “But I am not as easily distracted as you. So, tell me. What’s the problem?”

“Nothing new.” Adrien sighed, well knowing he won’t get away that easily. “I am just tired.”

“You are still struggling to sleep?” She asked spontaneously, long and pale fingers playing with the cap of her water bottle.

“I am really busy lately.” He defended the situation weakly. “My father’s winter collection is coming up and I have to model for him, also there are new photoshoots. Then there are exams and all those extracurriculars and... Yeah, I am tired. But it’s not that bad.”

“Let me guess.” She insisted. “You live off of 5 cups of coffee a day again?”

“It’s that time of the year.” He grinned at her from where he was lying. Kagami sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before schooling her expression and looking at her fencing partner.

“You know what your problem is?” Adrien twitched under her heavy gaze and accusing tone of her voice.

“Please enlighten me.” He tried to joke. Just like Chat, Adrien used humour as an escape from tight spots and unnerving conversations. But Kagami wasn’t an akuma (not anymore, at least) and she was pretty smart to fall for his distraction techniques. 

“You can’t see that you are so much more than your father’s son. You are not just his son. You are not his prize. You are so much more.” Adrien raised an eyebrow, baffled by the sudden change of subject and almost praise-like words. 

“Umm, thanks?” But Kagami ignored him and continued her lecture about his father and his poor mental state (that is, according to Kagami).

“He didn’t make you who you are. If it was true, then you would be an asshole like him.” 

“Hey—” He didn’t usually mind Kagami’s directness and boldness but it was still his father she was talking about. 

“You have terrible mood swings and abandonment issues, you get distracted so easily. You can be socially awkward sometimes. You dive head first into everything you do which is stupid, especially for a fencer like you. Your stubbornness is damn annoying. You are way too obedient.”

“Wow, and I thought you were trying to make me feel better.” Adrien rolled his eyes, not really hurt by her criticism. She had a way of making you question everything you believed and she could turn every insult into a serious constructive criticism.

“It’s not about making you feel better. It’s about making you see.” She pointed out. “All those things I listed are his doing. Well, most of them. You are socially awkward because he trapped you in that huge house for so long. You have mood swings and abandonment issues because he left you all alone when your mother disappeared, instead of helping you to deal with your sorrow he put more weight on your shoulders with unrealistic expectations. He guilt trips you all the time. He’s an abusive and neglectful asshole and you are way too scared of losing your last family member to admit it. That’s why you are way too obedient. You are scared to disappoint, scared to make him dislike you. You are turning into a puppet.”

“Look—” He really didn’t want her to go there. The whole ‘you are a puppet in your father’s show’ thing was Adrien’s weak spot and every time someone poked it, he was spending the next two days sulking and drowning himself in his own moodiness.

“But then there are things he couldn’t control in you.” Kagami resisted to his opposition. “Like your kindness. Your terrible puns. You are a dork. You are polite, something that’s your father could never learn. You are thoughtful and nice which is impressive considering you spent so much time around your father and Chloé.”

“To be fair, Chloé can be nice when she really, really wants to be.” He felt a need to defend his friend despite it was  _him_  that wasKagami’s target, not Chloé. Adrien knew a different side of Chloé that she couldn’t dare to show anyone else. Except maybe Sabrina. Where Adrien was ready to open his heart to anyone who was willing to accept him, Chloé was scared to show her true self to anyone, in fear of getting hurt. After everything Audrey put her through, Adrien could never judge her.

“See? That’s what I am talking about. You see the best in everyone. That’s why I am not surprised you still defend him or try to fit into his ‘perfect son’ mould.” She turned her eyes to the ceiling, head falling back as her short and sweaty hair barely brushed her shoulders. “But don’t you think you have done enough for him already? You are his son, not his father. He is the one supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around.”   

“He’s been through a lot and—”

“So have you.” She objected boldly. “Stop making excuses for him.” Adrien ran a hand through his messy blond hair and sighed. He was too tired and the quiet moment was gone, thanks to Kagami’s determination to make him face his issues. It wasn’t the first time she talked about his father that way and Adrien was used to people hating his father but... he wasn’t used to people hating his father on his behalf. It could be touching if it wasn’t sucking any good feeling and energy from him. As he lay down there, he felt like a rag doll. A puppet without his strings. He had no effort, no power left in him to move. He just wanted to sleep. 

“I know he’s not perfect.” He said tiredly. “I know he can be really rude and demanding. I know he’s not the parent he’s supposed to be. But he’s my father. And I love him.” He was tired of explaining their father-son relationship to people. Nino couldn’t understand and Adrien didn’t dare to start a conversation about terrible parenting around Chloé because he was afraid to hurt her by reminding her of everything that they both have been through when they were kids. And maybe, still. Kagami, on the other hand, she was a good listener. She was a good adviser, too. The problem was, she could leave you with dread. Not literally but... She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. She didn’t spare your feelings because she believed it would make things worse. She was honest, bold and unafraid.

She was amazing.

And she scared Adrien sometimes.

“I know you do.” She answered softly. “All I am saying is...” She turned her breath-taking eyes to him. “Don’t hurt yourself to prove anything, Adrien.”

“I don’t—” He tried to fought back but Kagami interrupted him, not retreating by his defensive mood. But again, she was never one to retreat. She was always offensive, she was sharp tongued, strong willed and fearless. Adrien admired everything about her, from her beauty to her powerfulness. Because only if he could be braver, like her. He was known for being a fearless superhero in cat suit but it was easy to dress up and fight evilized citizens on a weekly or daily base. Physical fight never scared him. On the contrary, it was exciting. Adrien spent his entire life fighting for one thing or another, no time to spend lazily lying on his bed and daydreaming. He fought for a place in fencing team and basketball team. He fought his father for public school. He couldn’t imagine life without challenges. But facing your issues, your father’s coldness and your own possible depression was scarier than being the target of a superpowered villain. 

“I am not saying you are being a stubborn rebellious kid.” She explained with a slight grin on her face. “Your temper tantrums are no better than a 5 years old’s and you could never be rebellious.” Her smile fell from her face, replaced by a serious expression. “But self-destruction comes in many forms.” He eyed her uncomfortably. His cheeks reddened by her accusation. 

“Aren’t you exaggerating? I am not self-destructive or depressed. Sad, maybe. Disappointed? Sure. But nothing that serious.”

“I am not saying you are out there, trying to willingly destroy yourself or anything.” She defended herself. “But as I said, self-destruction comes in many forms.”

“Suddenly you have a PhD in Psychology, huh?” He tried to joke to lighten the mood. Gosh, only if he could sleep and forget about this embarrassing conversation. Kagami was impossible to distract once she set her mind. There was no stopping her until she speaks her mind and leaves the ball in his court. 

“Sometimes it’s doing things that makes you sad in order to prove yourself.” She continued without giving him the chance to distract her. “Sometimes it comes in the form of impulsiveness. Or fear of abandonment.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Sounds familiar?”

“Please tell me you didn’t google any of these.” He groaned and covered his eyes with both hands. 

“Then there are your terrible mood swings and sudden irritation.” She listed from memory. She clearly thought about it for some time. Adrien didn’t know if he should be touched or annoyed. It was nice to know that she was thinking about him, such a beautiful, brilliant and amazing young girl caring so much about him made his heart beat faster. But on the other hand, he felt naked. He felt like a lab rat, getting examined and poked around.

Kagami probably felt his discomfort because she sighed and stopped listing her reasons to hate his father and drag Adrien to a psychiatrist.

“I say all those things because I care about you.” She leaned down on her forearm, turning her body toward Adrien’s, face centimetres away from his. He was looking up at her with wide grass green eyes, not moving. She raised her other hand, softly tracing the skin of his cheek as her eyes followed the movement of her own fingers. “You are so much more than he could ever be.”

Her low voice, soft fingers and affection filled eyes made his heart beat faster. Adrien slowly lifted his hand and grabbed hers on his cheek but didn’t move her hand away. Without breaking the eye contact, he slowly brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. 

“Thanks.”

“For what?” A small smile appeared on her pretty face. “Kicking your ass or calling your father an asshole?”

“Both.” His discomfort broke to pieces as a small yet genuine smile took its place on his face. “For keeping me on my feet. For caring. For telling me what you think without sugar-coating it.”

“Oh, that.” She said playfully, running her hand through Adrien’s silky hair. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s always a pleasure to speak my mind.” Adrien only grinned as an answer. She placed her hand on his chest and lowered her body to floor, lying next to the blond boy as she placed her head on his shoulder.

“Are you going to be okay?” She mumbled against his chest as her eyes focused on Adrien’s hand grabbing her own on his chest to interlace their fingers. It would probably look awkward and strange to other people since they weren’t officially dating and normally, they were not spending their training sessions cuddling or kissing on the floor. But Kagami was never one to hide her feelings. She wasn’t afraid to admit her attraction and affection when she felt it. And Adrien never denied his own feelings for the pretty Japanese girl. He was just too confused, tired and busy to make a move. But he’s been thinking a lot lately, about their relationship. He didn’t want to disrespect Kagami by dating her when he still had feelings for Ladybug. However, lately, he started to see his partner more as a lifetime friend than a possible lover and significant other. If all the madness, akumas, his father and his modelling would give him a second to breath, he would like to take Kagami out on a date. He would treat her right, like she was royalty. She deserved nothing less. She deserved his full attention, love and time. That was the only reason he was still hesitating. How could he ditch her every time there was an akuma without telling the truth? She didn’t deserve to be left alone sitting at a restaurant table or at a café, patiently waiting for a guy who couldn’t show up because he was so busy fighting supervillains. No, she deserved better. “Do you feel better?”

He held her hand tighter and prayed she’d still be interested when he was finally ready. 

“I will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I reread this and realized that it's just me being depressed and totally gay for Kagami (I would let her ruin me) also, jokes on you Adrien I live off of 6 cups of coffee & 4 cups of black tea a day....
> 
> I'm lanthimo on tumblr, thanks for reading!


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